My Random Writings

Here are some poems I’ve written. O.k. so they are not really poems, but more just thoughts jotted down I guess.
***This first poem I originally wrote for school then entered it in a contest for the holocaust museum near my house, and won first place in the writing category.

~Through A River of Hate~

Through a river of hate,
I might learn to love again,
But why did you do this to me?
I’ll try to forgive you,
But you stole my life from me.
You forced me into hiding
Living a dark and dreadful life
A life no one should have to live.
I’ve heard horrible stories of what you’ve done to others like me.
I was afraid to be found, I was afraid to die
I’ll try to forgive you,
But you stole my childhood.

I felt as lonely and as cold as a wet stone
You made me live in hunger, there was little food,
But I never gave up hope.
I was afraid to die; I hadn’t lived my life.
I’ll try to forgive you,
But you stole my life from me.

You caused me to live in a small cramped space
You forced me to ask others to put their lives at risk,
So, that I could have a chance to live through this horror.
You don’t know what it was like.
I’ll try to forgive you,
But you stole my childhood.

I can’t just put all of this behind me.
I need you to know what I felt,
What was like to live like I did.
Living in fear every day.
I need you to that what you did was wrong,
But I’ll try to go on, and all I have to say is…
Through a river of hate
I might learn to love again
I’ll try to forgive you,
But how can I do that?
When you and I both know,
That you ended my life too soon.
Why did you do it?
I could have grown up to be something great,
But how will we ever know now,
Now that you have cut my life short.


***O.K. this next one I didn’t write but I found it somehwere and i really like it.


~ I Saw A Child ~
I saw a child who couldn’t walk,
Sit on a horse, laugh and talk.
Then ride it through fields of daisies,
And yet the child could not walk unaided.
I saw a child, no legs below,
Sit on a horse and make it go
Through woods of green,
And places the child had never been
To sit and stare,
Except from a chair.

I saw a child, who could only crawl,
Mount a horse and sit up tall.
Put it through degrees of paces,
And laugh at the wonder in our faces.
I saw a child born into strife
Take up and hold the reins of life
And that same child was heard to say,
“Thank god for showing me the way.”

**I guess this one isn’t really a poem, but I’m not that good at writing, sorry..

~Unanswered Questions~

Mom says you left us after my 1st birthday
She said you left because you couldn’t love me
Why couldn’t you love me? Did I do something wrong?
Did you not like me?
Is that why you never called?
Mom says that if you ever called I could talk to you
She wasn’t keeping me from you
So all I can think of is that you didn’t want me
Mom says you never asked to see me… And that you never wanted to see me
Why didn’t you want to see me?
You didn’t want to see your little girl grow up?

Dad… if I can even call you that…
I have all these unanswered questions,
Questions that can never be answered now,
Now that you are gone.

I went to your funeral.
Mom said it was O.K. even though we never knew each other.
Grandmommy wanted me to come.
She told me you wouldn’t mind if I took a rose off your coffin.
She said you would want me to have it.
Would you? I mean how would I know?

Guess what I found out!
I have a ½ brother and a ½ sister.
They say you loved them
They say you were a great dad.
Why didn’t you tell me about them?
Were you trying to hide them from me?
Why did you leave me?
Did you love them more than me?

Why, Why, Why is all I want to know… is that so hard?
I guess it is now that you are gone.
And because of it I have all these unanswered questions.
Unanswered questions that are tearing me up inside,
And knowing that they will never be answered hurts even more.


***These are the most recent ones that I have written.

~Missing you~

The sun rises
It’s a new day, but the same old thing
I leave and come back
But when I come home
I think of you

As I eat my dinner
I turn on the T.V.
And all I see
Reminds me of you
And all the good times we’ve shared


The sun sets
The day is done
And before I go to sleep
I think of you

I go out and do things with people
I’m having fun, but it’s not the same
And there is one person that I am missing
And that person is you.


~ALONE~

Why do I always feel this way?
It’s a feeling that I don’t want to feel,
But I just can’t seem to make it go away.
I’ve tried hard to just deal.

Where is everyone?
Does anyone get what I mean?
Or am I the only one?
On someone I would like to be able to lean.

Someone please help me to see.
See that I am not the only one.
For I feel so alone in this world of many seas.
My hope and strength are almost done.

Like the runt in a family
I feel unwanted
There is no one to turn to
Every day just seems to get harder.

I can’t hide anymore, I hurt too much inside,
Behind the mask that I have created.
I don’t know how else to say it,
But someone please HELP me.

Someone anyone please
She me that you care, let me see you make some effort.
Show me I’m not all alone, for I feel like I am.
I’ve tried to be there for other, to be a friend, if nothing more.
Where did I go wrong? Was I not a friend? Did I hurt someone along the way?


~Simple Words, Or So I Thought~

She doesn’t get it
I don’t know how to tell her any other way.
One step at a time, I tell her.

She doesn’t get it
She is persistent
Pilling one thing on top of another,
I can’t handle it

She doesn’t get it
I don’t know how to tell her any other way.
I’m not ready.
I hurt too much inside, but she doesn’t get it.

She doesn’t get it
I’ve tried to be simple, but its really not all that simple.
I don’t know what’s more simple than,
I’m SCARED, I HURT, and I DON’T know what to do anymore.

She doesn’t get it
She hurts me too
She doesn’t get it
Does anyone get it?

~Untitled~

I don’t like the way I’m feeling
I don’t know how to change the way I’m feeling
I am trying I really am, but no one seems to notice
People don’t seem to notice that I hurt at all

I feel…
Like, I’m a burden to those who know what’s going on
And even a burden to those that don’t
Unwanted and invisible even in a room full of people

I don’t like the way I’m feeling,
But I don’t know what to do to change it.
I know I need to change, but I don’t know how anymore.

I feel…
All alone like, there is no one there to help me.
Like, even though I try to help others I am unappreciated.
Scared and confused, I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how things will turn out


I don’t like the way I’m feeling,
But I don’t know what to do to change it.
I know I need to change, but I don’t know how anymore.

I feel…
Unloved, like no one cares what happens to me.
Like, I am unable to do things on my own and think straight.
Defeated, unable to go on any longer, to tired and injured to go on.

Is it all my fault? The way I feel, did I put all upon myself?
If so then I don’t where I went wrong,
But one thing is for sure, I need help getting back on the right path.

Can you help me?
Will you help me?
Is there anyone? I need to stop feeling this way,
And all I need is just a little help, I think.

Will you be the one?
The one to help set me free from these feelings
All I need at the very least is a shoulder to cry on.
Someone to tell me everything will turn out O.K.